Hello Rough Cut readers!
I know its been a few, took a bit of a hiatus , mainly because , well life, the holidays, the usual chaos when it comes to this time of year. But we’re now down to the final hours of 2018 on the east coast, and while I’m home off from work now until next year I’ve been doing some reflecting and, throughout it all , 2018 was a big step in many directions for me.
Point one, I moved out and became legally separated. This , while not going into details out of respect to all parties involved, was the only move to make and while the process had been and is ongoing, 2019 should be the year it gets finalized as all agreements are in place and have been in effect since at least summer.
Restarting life, moving out and adhering to agreements all while in the process of “unfucking ” one’s life has been an adjustment and a process, not always comfortable but in that time I set a few goals for myself, met a few and came up short on some others too. I had zero expectation of this being easy and as always cast no blame and make no excuses. It’s all about moving forward and improving my self and my situation, for myself and my kids, whether its a new year or not.
A major improvement for me personally is beginning to reclaim control of finances .Ive paid off several outstanding bills with relative comfort to boot and I expect further improvements next year, though I’m certainly not out of the woods yet. I was able to get my daughters the things they asked for this year for Christmas and my car is pretty much paid off now and that allows me to concentrate on paying off all my other needless debt I got myself into.
I’ve also all but stopped watching any tv altogether as there really is nothing out there for me. Id much rather focus on developing this brand and reading or hitting the gym.
My fitness I feel I came up a little short of my goals though I am physically stronger than I was earlier this year. I largely put that on a lapse in diet though as the workouts have been consistent at least up until the holiday season. I have a mild but strange case of gout im flushing out; I’m not in tremendous pain as I’ve had in the past, but its in both feet which has never happened before I have a pull up bar and have been trying every day to improve there as well.
I also came up short travel wise though it wasn’t a lofty goal this past year as I had enough on my plate. This year I’d really like to get my passport and take a small trip in the Fall or late summer. It would make good blogging material I think.
I’ve gotten into the habit of reading more, researching for new interests bought some new wardrobe and found some new hobbies. Chess, cigars and pipe tobacco are all on my lists for videos next year as well as the usual stuff to expect from me. Now while I do suffer with gout on occasion, with some rare cases I will be sampling various wines and bourbons as well, though Im well aware I have to take it easy there. As far as the old school gaming end , expect ps1 and ps2 on the horizon as well as old school board games and maybe some dabbling in rpgs like d&d which I’ve never played but always have been curious about. I’m sure I’ll do some pop culture commentary on occasion ; despite my inclination to not want to I get that at times its relevant. We’ll see on that front.
Then there was the blog, the channel, the periscopes and the podcast. While I fell short in output, just finding the time to get it set up was a baby step and I do blog on a semi regular basis. The first podcast went nicely though short, and more are coming. Ive been talking with my old friend Larry and I may work something out with him for distribution off his Mohr of the Same network, I have a working mike and once its setup, I may go simulcast via livestream/periscope and podcast as well.
The Periscope’s got a few hits, I saw it more as experimental than anything else, but the future emphasis will be more on video and podcasting. I’m very likely to stay with twitter for the time being, but I think Facebook has run its course for me, I see no value in it even to keep in touch with family. So aside any content I create in the future I wont be using it much. I may blog slightly less often than I have too, depending on material I may stick to YouTube and Spreaker as that’s the direction I wanted to go in, but I do want to encourage , coerce, bribe and threaten others to post here.
I’m always looking for contributors and if you have something of interest you want to share, please submit and if Steve and I like it, we will put it up unedited. Steve also will be making a return this year; the dude hooked himself up with a great job and like myself, is in the process of making some very positive life changes.
Now while I took a long hiatus on dating this past year, I may look to start that up and that could certainly make for some comical fodder next year to discuss. Again we will see, I’m in a very red pilled state of mind and you can’t undo that. While I know I would enjoy some companionship, its not yet at the top of my list right now. My biggest mistake I think when I first got out there ( and I may have mentioned it last article) is I was still living with my ex when I started . This time its not the case and I am curious to see how that may make a difference.
I would also like to reexamine and strengthen my faith a lot more, perhaps even attend some sort of Bible study if I can find a local one or even attend Church more. There’s a lot of bad things going on in the Catholic Church right now,and I am no fan nor do I even accept this pope, it is worth fighting for and educating oneself for.
Last but certainly not least, maintain the work and life relationships I’ve made ,improve the ones I have. I celebrated Christmas Eve without my kids this year for the first time in their life, and with my Aunts, Uncles and Cousins for the first time in literal years. For whatever old reasons I had I stayed away. It felt awkward at first then quite welcoming and heartwarming to see most everyone there. This is on my late fathers side of my family where I get my name. I’ve reconnected with my mothers side as well and in the next year, intend to involve my girls more, as I have them 2019 Christmas eve coming this time around as per agreement.
Working two jobs I’ve maintained and strengthened relationships at both. One, as I’ve stated is my career and I’ve been there now close to 19 years which is a miracle if you knew me when I started at 22 years old. I work with some of the best people in the world there in that business and I am more grateful than ever for the opportunity it has given.
Now my other job. Its a minor gig, it’s part time, and its retail, I don’t have to take it seriously but I’ve made real friendships with some tremendously good hearted and well intentioned young people and a few older ones, I wouldn’t trade in the time I’ve spent with them for anything. A summer bbq and Xmas were both very nice times and in all honesty, I never expected to have the patience to maintain two jobs now for near two years.
While I would like this to be the last year I have to do this, I would like the option to be on the table to choose to do it a little longer, as long as I can work a schedule around it, make a little extra and the people maintain the quality they have . I would stay another three , four or ten years if it works well. However, I do know how they cut hours dramatically after the holidays. They had me down to one day a week last year, and while I stuck with it , if that happens to me this year, I may ask to be taken off schedule until better hours are available. Like it or not I do have to be practical and if it doesn’t pay to show once a week it doesn’t pay. That’s just reality.
Overall, I’ve learned most everything worth going after is a process. Unfucking one’s life is a marathon , it’s not a race, and while time may not be on my side as much as it once was, I’m still gonna take it one step one day at a time. So to my readers and subscribers, thank you. Happy New Year to each and everyone of you, I hope to communicate more next year. Every new day , every new year always holds promise and that’s what it is baby!
Citizen G signing off for 2018